Oh the good old Torture Report. You know the situation is dire when we are in need of this level of public accountability. This formerly weekly check- in was created to keep Lowi and I (and a couple others) on task for my 40th birthday 50-miler in 2014.

And then you all seemed to like our missteps and on-again, off-again relationship with the fitness wagon that we kept it going long after. We retired it a few years ago because we were sure there was nothing left to say except: we try and often fail.

But alas, when Lowi texted about 10 days ago and said she was ready to resurrect this public humiliation I said what all gluttons say: Yes, I am in!!

Quarantine has been a topsy turvy experience for me when it comes to training and exercise. It began just as I was coming off the high of a 72-hour race and a 100-mile finish. I felt so good about the upcoming race season and I was excited to see how I could push the envelope at an upcoming event. Ironically, the same race we trained for when the Torture Report was originally born  — The Outrun 24. The race was to be held on my birthday this year and it felt like a sign, or so I thought, when I signed up in October 2019.

It turns out it may have been more a sign of the apocalypse but you know how mysterious signs can be.

As you can predict week after week, another event canceled and with it went my motivation and my excitement. I was disappointed. I realize that races pale in comparison to a pandemic but I am going to be honest, that’s how I felt: disappointed and a little bit cheated.

I spent the next several weeks vacillating between walking because who gives a %$^& to deciding that I was going to train hard and show the Q just what I thought of it. Neither of these states were particularly healthy but my Quarantine Handbook was delayed by Amazon along with a delivery of toilet paper so I was left to my own best thinking.

Then after much back and forth I decided that I would still run on my birthday or more accurately INTO my 46th year. So on May 1 I did a 46-mile trek of walking and running on a 4.6-mile loop in my surrounding neighborhood and finished just after midnight. It was tough and challenging but it was also just what I needed.

Unbeknownst to me, my husband also signed me up that day for the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee — what a dear he is. This is a virtual race that you have until Aug 31 to finish, which is essentially logging 635 miles on your own but also the distance it would take to run across the state of Tennessee.

Here I am at 171.2 miles (as of publishing this morning) and some folks have been finished for DAYS so not so much keeping up with the Joneses. But it is keeping me focused and now that we have apparently skipped Spring here in Ohio, as this state’s weather likes to do, I will need something. It’s now in the 80s, humid, hot and probably a lot like Tennessee this time of year.

What has also happened during this time is I have picked up a few pounds. Not sure where they came from so if anyone is missing some, please let me know and I will return to sender ASAP. I will even pay postage.

Lowi laid out a nice tidy plan for all of you of what she intended to do. Mine is going to be a little less tidy but to the point.

Run or walk every single day because Tennessee isn’t going to walk across itself.
Stop with the snacking because nobody needs to eat pretzels (or carbo load) on their way to brush their teeth for bed.
Get over my aversion of the grocery store (only because it’s depressing) so I have more fruits and veggies in the house.
Keep working out with my training clients online because an extra lifted weight can only help me.
Keep teaching my brain that I love heat and humidity — or at the very least make peace with it.
Continue to remind myself that I am training for life first and races second.

All of this talk of snacking has me thinking about Doritos that I likely haven’t eaten since Lowi and I lived in a house together. I blame her for that craving.

Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G