In every season of our life we are becoming who we are. We all change slowly and in subtle, cellular ways every moment, ever second. Change isn’t innately good or bad it just is. If we aren’t careful with the process we continue to “become” but not who we were meant to be or even hoped we’d be. We become, by default, what fear made us.
I have been collaborating on a project for almost a year. It’s been a rough and wild road and I was ready to quit more times than I can count. And my compadres pushed me on. And when my co-creators lost faith I’d like to think I helped them keep on the path, too.
There is power in numbers and in faith.
I am getting to the end of this process and finding that in order to cross the threshold into this new part of my life I have to be willing to see myself differently. I have to be willing to add new dimensions to the depths of my persona that I recognize. I have to be willing to change to possibly view myself as I actually am.
How I define myself has grown and morphed. I find that I’m in this moment, albeit brief in the scheme of life, that has a powerful vacuum. And the pull is coming from both directions. I can be pulled back or I can be pulled forward. Holding still isn’t a choice.
The march will continue on in a forward motion because I can’t bear anything else. But in this exact moment I need to sit with the doubt, the fear, the vulnerability that have arrived and settled into the air around me. I need to experience what I am feeling so that I can grow into this new chapter of my life and leave the doubt and the fear in the background. Only by being in what is now can I be fully be in whatever comes next.
We all think we can straddle a moment but we can’t. We are in the past, in the future or in the present. We can’t do all three at once despite how complex we fancy our multi-tasking skills.
So today I am sitting with, being with, and immersing in this moment. The next moment will arrive in its own time. And when it does I want to be ready.
Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G