Have You Seen My Calling?

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Last week G sent me this quote. It got me wondering if I am using my gifts? Do I even know what my gifts are? Am I living up to my potential?

This week many of us are sending our new HS graduates out into the brave new world to be all that they can be. Meanwhile our 40-something selves are sitting here wondering if this is it! Is this really all I can be? Is this all I got?

Hmmm, I don’t think so. I think I have a lot more in me so what’s my plan? I don’t know…But I was reading this book by Glennon Doyle Melton, Carry On Warrior: Embracing The Power of Your Messy, Beautiful Life and I was inspired to get my crap together.
I am only about a quarter of the way through this book and I am in awe. She tells her raw, honest story of addiction and her inability to just get her life together. When she finally breaks free from her addictions, gets married and has children she can’t even get a volunteer position because of her past arrests. Talk about not feeling like you can live up to your potential!

There is a poignant moment in the book where she describes being at the park having a superficial conversation with another mom. It feels fake and pointless. In that moment she decides to tell this woman everything about her past; the good, the bad and the ugly all come pouring out. The woman responds with tears and returns her honesty with the painful truth that her marriage is falling apart. It’s at this moment that Melton realizes that her calling is to have real, honest conversations with people, which in turn allows them to get real. Otherwise, what are we doing? She went from being “unqualified” to volunteer at a domestic violence shelter to being the author of best-selling books and speaking all over the country.

I don’t have a miraculous story of overcoming addictions, thankfully, but I still have a calling and so do you. Are you living it out? Do you know what it is? Do you know what mine is?

I don’t have anything I need to overcome…except myself. So, what is my problem? I can’t get out of my own way most of the time.
I let fear, busyness, obligations and uncertainty keep me from taking chances, moving forward, living my life to the absolute fullest. A few of these things I can kick to the curb; they are just bad habits. The fear and the uncertainty? They are my constant companions. In order to step outside myself and make changes I have to ask myself questions like, “what is the worst that could happen? What is the best possible outcome? If I don’t do it where will I be?” A lot of the time it works. Sometimes it’s just too exhausting to try.

Then, you get a message that someone else you know has cancer; has passed away. Then you ask yourself, “do I really need a wake up call? Do I really need God to grab me by the shoulders before I wake up and start living?”

I don’t think so.

Sunshine & Sarcasm,

Lowi & G

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