For the last several months, I have been in a perpetual state of transition. After about 5 years, a plan we were set to put in motion in late 2019 finally got some traction. Just before the pandemic, my husband and I were about to enter into a repair on our condo that involved our homeowners’ association and, after that sell our condo and move to Tennessee. You all know what happened in 2020, and eventually, in late 2022, our repair was complete, and we were free to move forward with our plans. But as life is wont to do, it had its own itinerary, and 2023 was a difficult year. 

All of that brings me to today. The wheels of this train have been in motion for most of this year. We began 2024 clutter clearing, making dozens of trips to donate items we didn’t use and tossing junk we had dragged from apartment to apartment and home to home individually and collectively. I can attest that Americans, if not all humans, seem to have a ton of stuff. We don’t know what most of it is, but we are also incredibly attached to it. 

There is nothing quite like preparing to put your home on the market to cure you of sentimentalism and any packrat tendencies. After months of preparation, organization, cleaning, updating, and painting, we sold our home. 

If you, dear reader, feel a million questions bubbling up, I promise you I don’t have a single answer to any of them. I promptly sold my home and, a few days later hopped on a plane for a prior commitment that has had me out of town since.

The only thing that I am currently in possession of is lack—as in a lack of routine, a consistent time zone, normalcy, a good night’s sleep, and any definitive idea of what’s next. 

This relative upheaval got me thinking that nearly every single thing we ever say we want is on the other side of discomfort or disruption. It always comes at some cost.

That’s so annoying, right?! I do find it helpful to be reminded that we pay for everything in some way. We either take some risks, and the price is a temporary loss of our comfort, some of our sanity, and/or predictability, but the payout is that we live a little more fully. The other option at times is to not take risks and lean toward what is comfortable. We all have the routines that many, like me, crave, but we pay for that on occasion with unused creativity, untried dreams, and relative boredom. Nobody rides for free.

Ugh, don’t you hate it when cliches are not only irritating but true?

We are going to have to sacrifice in some way, whether we stay the same or we change. Period. 

And that is honestly what has helped me the most through this time of uncertainty. First, I remind myself often that I chose it, and I am choosing it every day. Second, we exchange currency daily in the form of our hopes, dreams, desperate need for comfort, etc. No judgment, but every choice we make or don’t make comes at a price. 

Right now, I am temporarily letting go of knowing the answers to questions like, “what is your new address,” so that in the near future, I can tell myself I had the courage and was willing to be all in for this hand of life.