I had the opportunity to be on a podcast a few days ago. It was fun and a little bit nerve-wracking. I enjoyed it because it’s always a bit of a boost for someone to ask what you think and how you see the world. It was fraught because my most unvarnished self tends to show up when I am nervous, and I say unfiltered and quirky things. If I were incredibly wealthy, you’d call me eccentric, but since I’m not, people call you weird. 

As I was saying, I was on a panel of three in this interview of sorts, and the first question out of the gate was, “Tell us about yourself.” First of all, that’s not a question, and second of all, it’s just wide-open enough for me to fit my entire foot conveniently in my mouth if I am not paying attention. The first thing that comes to mind and nearly out of my mouth? I am a Taurus who requires regular snacks. Let’s be honest: that’s 100% on the mark, but it may not be how I want to start this conversation. If you know me, you’re likely nodding your head. If you know me AND you like me, you may be smiling. But if you don’t know me and therefore don’t even know if you like me that could be received as bizarre, weird, and likely not in the neighborhood of charming.

Thankfully, I rescued myself in the last few nanoseconds before I opened my mouth and said something slightly more acceptable. I will be honest, I am relieved. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought maybe I shouldn’t be. You hear so much talk about authenticity. I didn’t bother to look back at previous blogs, but I feel fairly confident if we didn’t use the word, we invoked its overall meaning. We say be yourself. Let your freak flag fly, but in the fine print, we mean only with certain people, only as long as you don’t embarrass yourself, and never in a public forum where the primary goal, frankly, is to impress people.

At the start of 2024, I talked a good game of doing things your own way and making our own luck, but am I? Is it possible that I could have shown up at this most recent event or something in the future and been my usual, slightly off-beat self and still had something competent and useful to share? Could I have had the courage to make the off-the-cuff goofy statement about my Taurean ways and still be able to connect with the people that I was meant to resonate with? 

I wonder, how much energy do I (and maybe we) expend trying to make ourselves presentable, palatable, or professional? At this point in my life, haven’t I learned that giving people a sanitized version of myself is a disservice to me and them? Don’t get me wrong; there were plenty of moments in this talk when I was my truest self. I shared my hand-made glitter-filled jar that is the equivalent of a snow globe without the snow. I suggested the best goal we could have right now is the one that allows us to feel relief (pretty counter-culture, right?), I said my best self-care tip was to “pet a cat,” and maybe my most valuable nugget was that wellness equals peace.

Now that I write it all down, I am starting to reconsider my take on the whole thing. I haven’t watched the recording, and I likely won’t. (It’s important to know how strong your inner critic is, and mine has Greek Goddess mythological powers, so I will leave well enough alone.) However, after relaying to you all the tidbits that I recall sharing that most genuinely exuded me – maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

Sure, maybe some people won’t like me; or what I said, or they will label me as moronic, simple, or elementary. The beauty of this particular context is that I likely won’t ever know, which allows me to be a bit braver than normal. But in the same vein, there will be people (I hope) who need just my brand of delivery to lead them to their own discovery. 

Earlier this year, I suggested that maybe 2024 already knows what we need to work on. It’s usually staring us squarely in the eyes. I can tell you no matter how hard I have instinctively tried to dodge this, it’s true. We are barely a whisper into March, and yet it seems this year I am learning that maybe where we have the least polish is where we most shine.