I have writer’s block. There, I said it. OK, I wrote it.
Now that I wrote a few short sentences it ceases to feel all that true. What I really mean to convey is I have a block on light-hearted phrasing. Our family has much goodness to anticipate in the next several days. I am looking forward with tempered excitement.
But I feel a resistance to it. I feel a reticence. Possibly you feel it as well. For far too long we have been waiting to be let out of our pandemic purgatory. We have been waiting to feel like ourselves again. We have been praying for our days to feel less like overfilled balloons.
Now that I have this joyous occasion looming I feel like I am not quite sure how to let it all in. My husband loves it when I attempt to write in sports clichés, especially since I am dreadful at it. But here it goes.
I feel like we have all been on defense for such an extensive period of time that I have forgotten how to turn down the idea that there is something we are pushing against. Taking in love, joy, and goodness requires a form of surrender. It requires trust. It requires us to allow.
I originally sat down with the intent to share with you a pithy little tale as a warm-up to the week ahead, when we will regale you with heart-warming and tender moments and yet all the words that I need are on a hiatus. They seem unavailable to me. I reach for them with my fingers outstretched on the keyboard. I know how to spell them. I just can’t quite seem to find them. It feels like climbing on a bicycle after not having ridden for many years. Your body remembers how to keep balance, work the gears, it’s your mind that gets in the way with all its running commentary.
I wonder, do you feel that jerky pause as you move toward lightness, toward taking a deeper, easier breath? Do you feel your body leaning toward the relief of it but your mind saying slow down?
I do believe this Friday as we attend the long-awaited nuptials of Alexandra and Drew we will experience an awareness, a quickening that can only arrive on the sunrise side of hard times. I imagine each of us will have our moment of acute gratitude that we have been gifted our place in this celebration. I hold fast to the sense that as we gather, as we fall into a collective heart rhythm that so too will the words fall right back into my hands.
And so it is.
Lowi & G