Self-care or self-love in this season of flowers, candy and heart-shaped everything  — what does it all mean? I look at it like this: It’s a request for care.

It’s an opportunity to ask ourselves:  Are we heeding the most basic of requests from our hearts, souls, and bodies?

We can often conflate self-care/self-love with indulgence. In fact, we often confuse love of others with the same thing. It can be but it doesn’t mean it’s always that way. Sometimes love is saying no. Sometimes love is setting boundaries. Sometimes love is stepping away.

With the go-go intensity of this world that many, if not most of us, have surrendered to in one form or another it’s easy to lose track of how we got here. What is normal, what is healthy and what is the habit of mob mentality?

Self-care/self-love can be the average day-to-day things. It’s interesting that we’ve gotten so turned around that we need a catchall term to remind us to take basic care of ourselves.

Are you giving yourself time for these things daily as needed?
Bathroom breaks
Water
Feeding yourself well
Sleep
Movement
Fun
Rest
Breaks in the day or larger forms, like vacation

You may have laughed when you read that list. I kind of chuckled, too.

Then I thought of how many times I have put off going to the bathroom to accomplish one more task. Silly, right?

How many of us have skipped lunch, dinner, (not because we were intermittent fasting) because we wouldn’t take the time for our needs? A need that when we were infants entire lives were built around. And now… Meh …food …whatever?!?

We forgo what really should be considered essentials for what?  Work, errands, play-dates, laundry, to-do lists? While, yes, self-love can be bath bombs, a monthly massage, or a nice dinner out. It can just as easily be tending the alerts of our body to feed it, nourish it, rest it, engage in some fun or creative venture. Some days I am more responsive to my cat’s meows for food, treats, or play than I am to my own. 

When I wrote that at first I laughed and then it felt rather disappointing. We can do better. Self-sacrifice isn’t a competition that we are all trying to win. Guess what happens to the winner?

As we head into the weekend, consider how you care for yourself. And if it isn’t how you’d care for the person you love the most, it’s time for some shifts. It’s time to reconsider what you believe you deserve. (Hint: You deserve a bathroom break and lunch, and OK  maybe a bath bomb!)

Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G