This month of Being Intentional primarily is about foundation-setting. We are digging deep below the surface and we’re pouring footers. But we need to clear the debris that may create an uneven and faulty base.
Part of creating new opportunities in your life, or bigger yet, creating a whole new life is the willingness and ability to receive it. The first step is becoming clear on what you want but maybe even more importantly, can you receive it? Do you believe you are worthy of it?
That may seem like an unusual thing to ask but deep in your core, do you believe you are worthy of your big, wild, amazing dream? Being able to receive a compliment well is a litmus test for how well you receive love.
Receiving a compliment is being able to receive love.
If you flinch at a compliment, there are parts of you that flinch at love. This is not insurmountable but you have to be willing to look at it. You have to be willing to address it. The illusion of being unworthy of good circumstances, being unworthy of love can only be seen for smoke and mirrors when you really face it directly.
If you want a new life, you need to be able to receive it. You need to be able to die to your past, die to your old story.
Whether you have massive dreams and goals or what you might call medium-sized aspirations, you are asking yourself to start over with a clean piece of paper. What would happen if you got up tomorrow and you didn’t remember your life? You didn’t have any thoughts about who you could or could not be?
Part of living this new year in a new way is being willing and open enough to take more than one step back. It’s about taking a drone’s-eye view of your life so you can see the bigger picture. Then do what may be the most difficult, disconnect from your mind and instead plug into your heart.
If you have always wanted to write a book, plug into how that feels in your heart. What do you want to write about? Can you imagine yourself doing a book signing? What would it feel like to see your book cover, your name on amazon.com or the physical copy of your book at Barnes and Noble when you walk in?
There is a thing that often happens next. It’s the buzz-killer, it’s the “reality” checker, the sail-air sucker… and soon all the excitement and energy is gone. We decide “we can’t” based on what? Fear, our past, what others have said to us, our own limited thinking?
You must follow your heart. The mind will come up with a problem, a fear, a reason why you can’t for every single dream. The mind will keep you replaying and rehearsing the past.
As Brene Brown says, “owning your story is the bravest thing you will ever do.”
What I interpret this to mean is, take charge of your story.
It takes courage to take charge. It takes deliberate action to become who we actually are. Taking charge is the very first step into transformation.
Sometimes owning your story is recognizing that the way you talk about yourself is someone’s else’s opinion. That you’ve been telling your life story from someone else’s vantage point. Over the weekend, I had one of those breaking-open moments. When you see your “story” in a new way, one that is way bigger than reframing it. When it’s an organic change of awareness and the story changes itself.
I had this 180-shift when, in a flash, it occurred to me that my ability, my tendency to feel life deeply is not a flaw, a weakness, as I had long believed it to be. I had this moment where I realized it’s a freaking super power. And just like we’ve all seen super heroes who first struggle to manage and work out how to use their powers, I did the same.
I struggled. I misfired. I had moments when my power got out of control (sometimes still do). But with practice, with skills, and with help, I learned how to harness this power, just like Wonder Woman. And then what was once a seeming liability becomes your magic lasso.
When you can step into that power. When you can step into that narrative, your story has been fully embraced by you. It’s your byline, my friend, don’t let a bystander think they can step in and try to rewrite you. They are in the cheap seats, leave them there.
How will you intentionally take charge of your story? What will be written on your blank piece of paper?
Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G