A friend/personal training client of mine tends to hear all the iterations of my life’s work. Whether I am working on myself, my career, or somewhere in between she listens patiently to the process. Often that process looks and sounds akin to throwing spaghetti against the wall and seeing it if it sticks. And other times it likes having 25 pinballs in the same machine. It’s cacophonous and not all that productive. In addition to all that noise, I read a fair amount and when I find good information I like to share it. Plus the only way to keep what you learn, discover or earn in your life is to give it away.
She shared with me just yesterday that she likes the little nuggets of knowledge that Lowi and I come across and share and asked that I try to wrap at least some of it up into one blog. So, Helene, this is for you!
Several weeks ago I shared some wisdom from Caleb Campbell about how the Aha moment is honestly only the moment that you have the high of awareness. It’s the action that matters next. Do you stop with the awareness or do you turn that into actual change? And that’s what the following smattering of inspirations are. They are the kickstart, the push off the diving board, the sink or swim command… but you can always choose to drown, hang onto the diving board or just kick yourself.
We are, by nature or nurture, avoid-aholics. We avoid feeling any kind of pain at any time if at all possible. We are, at least in the this country, better at self-medicating than self-soothing. We distract, divert, and delay anything that doesn’t feel good immediately. It’s why we start our diet on Monday, instead of today. It’s why someday is the most popular day to quit your job, follow your dream, or leave your unfulfilling, stagnant relationship.
But when you get to the point where change is truly the only option. That staying the same feels more like death than the fear of change, these following pieces of guidance are lights in the dark.
“That is too big a solution for this problem.” Tara Mohr
Please go on and read this whole blog because Tara Mohr is an insightful blogger and entrepreneur. But the gist is how her friend’s son was scared of his swimming lesson so he decided he wouldn’t go at all. His insightful mama shared with him: That is too big a solution for this problem. And while we can look at fear of a swimming lesson (in case you have that fear) and shrug and think it’s not a big deal, take it a step further and insert your fear in its place and you’ll see the wisdom. How many times have you created a solution that’s too big for the problem?
I am afraid I won’t do well in college, so I don’t enroll. I am afraid that I won’t ever find love, so I don’t even make it an option. I am afraid ____________ so I don’t… you fill in the blank.
How often is your solution WAY TOO BIG for the actual problem. We let fear tell us that it’s bigger than us but it’s not. Fear is a liar. But fear is also cunning and creative. Sometimes you need a good friend to kindly share that never entering Target again because your ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend’s mom works there is possibly overreacting if for no other reason than even Beyoncé goes to Target.
“By Justifying your Problems, you re-commit to them” Russell Brand
Snap! This one, my friends, is a game-changer. I feel confident and comfortable with saying that we ALL have done this, do this and, until being self-aware is a permanent state, will continue to do this. We do this in all kinds of creative ways but justify we do.
You need some examples, because you’re sure it’s not you. I am happy to oblige. I know I shouldn’t worry but I can’t help it. (Justification: I can’t help it. Result: Recommit to worry)
Change is hard. ( Justification: It’s hard. Result: I will stay in the same place)
Got it? Good.
“Pain is Your Path” Ed Harrold
I have been taking a course on breathing that’s been insightful and instructive. I am sure you’ll hear more about it later. But the other day in class the instructor, Ed Harrold, shared Pain is Your Path. Uhhh, what, you ask? This is not a directive to become masochistic. It is a realization that what causes you pain, emotionally or physically, is often the path to greatness. If you move toward what you fear, what’s hurting, what seems impossible and you heal it — your life opens up in ways you’d never imagine. You can live your life either moving AWAY from LIVING because some things are hard. Or you can spend your life moving toward the things that are difficult, heal the rift and it ceases to have power over you.
“Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith” Marc and Angel Chernoff “Getting Back to Happy”
I started reading this book earlier in the week and I saw this quote on one of the first few pages. It was the “quote of the day” as we say here in the Miller Barton house. We typically have so much faith in our fear and hardly any faith in love, peace and hope. What if you doubt your doubt/fear before you doubt your faith? What if that was your driving force, your personal life mantra? What if you remembered that while fear often is trying to protect you, unless it’s a situation between you and mortal danger FEAR is unfounded? Fear keeps your life small. Fear keeps your life tethered to paper tigers that only have the power you give them. Remember: Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.
We are as powerful as we believe we are. We are a peaceful, loving, nurturing species by nature. Discover all the hurts, wounds, and random limiting beliefs that block you from your nature and heal it, cure it, release it. Then go out and live this one, magical, beautiful, sometimes brutiful life. You will only, only, only ever really regret the life you didn’t fully live.
Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G