Bloggers’ note: Sunday morning I learned that a classmate of mine from junior high and high school died after a battle with cancer. It hit me hard. I took it straight to the heart even though I hadn’t seen her since we graduated from high school. How could it be that this vibrant young woman that I remembered was gone? How could that be? My grief and sadness over the loss of her, of course, is minimal compared to that of her family and close friends. It made me think of this blog we shared a couple of years ago during a difficult time. If you are traveling down a hard road right now have faith that this darkness will lift. Life cycles and it does move forward.
You hear devastating news and everything in your body, your mind, everything says no. It’s not always direct. It’s not always obvious. But if you look closely, if you’re paying attention — you see it.
The resistance, denial, pushing away, pulling away, running away.
It might just be our attention or body language.
It may feel like our cells are trying to run from the knowledge.
But like water on pavement, it eventually finds every crack, every crevice and it does what it does – sinks in.
I wouldn’t call it acceptance at first. It’s acknowledgement.
I see you over there.
That new wrinkle in life.
That new obstacle.
That newly realized fear.
And I want you to know, we’re not friends. We won’t ever be.
It’s not personal, it just is.
That’s how it goes with news you don’t want. And it comes all the time. And it’s never a good time. As we move into the holiday season it’s important to remember that many are struggling. Just because the calendar says it’s time to celebrate and be grateful doesn’t mean that our heart suddenly feels it. There likely isn’t a family out there who isn’t currently being affected by some kind of illness, discomfort or tragedy.
Why? Because life cycles, it moves. It’s a living entity and it’s always changing.
And we can hardly bare it.
It’s not easy, but focusing your attention on the positive really does make a difference over time. If we are honest wouldn’t we rather be living in a place of gratefulness than bitterness?
The next time you are up pacing at night because you are worried and can’t sleep, notice the light of the moon, the snow, the wind, the quiet peacefulness. When your pain and stress subside for an hour, notice and acknowledge the ease in which you rest during this time.
There is a place for sadness, grief and anger. And it will find you. It darkens all our doors during the seasons of life. It’s just not where we want to focus our time and energy. We need to acknowledge that we are hurting and let our emotions out. It’s good for the soul. So hug your family and friends and have a good cry, but then take a deep breath, release the negative and see the positive that is before you.
Gratitude can be a perspective-changer if you choose to put it into practice. When you focus on what you have versus what’s lacking you suddenly realize you have abundance. In the darkness we find something to move toward, we can say yes. It cycles on.
Lowi & G