This week, I was on a work call and my co-worker made reference to working until a flicker becomes a flame. It brought all these images to mind; a campfire just as it catches hold, a wick at the exact moment it sparks into being lit, an inner light as it rises up to illuminate its keeper’s eyes.
That pivotal moment is powerful. It’s that millisecond between barely hanging on to flourishing.
Flicker to a flame can seem instantaneous but it hardly ever is. You can follow its wick all the way to its beginning and usually its a further trackback than you’d imagine. There’s usually a whole lot more work between flicker and flame. You’ll find more than a little sweat equity on that road.
Earlier in the week, I shared about feeling depleted. I was missing inspiration. And especially after a race on Saturday, I felt spent. I left it all out on the course, as they say. I was lacking in creativity and physicality.
But then something surprising happened. When you decide to rest and, more importantly, you give yourself permission to stop, the nagging push to get moving quiets. Equally so, when I gave myself permission to not have anything to say the idea-free zone of my mind stopped buzzing. And I stopped worrying. I stopped wondering when I’d want to run again. I stopped wondering when I’d want to write again.
I let it be OK that my flame was merely hanging on by a flicker in that moment. It was even OK if it went out.
I figured that it wouldn’t have been the first time and I managed to get going again.
And here I am several days later and I am feeling better. I was on the verge of flaming out and now I am feeling the flicker start to return to a flame. The momentum is moving in the right direction.
Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G