Life Lesson: Wear Headphones

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O’Hare International Airport

If you are an avid reader of Lowi & G you know that I make fast friends. You also know that air travel can facilitate these friendships. Well, this week I learned that sometimes headphones are better than making friends while flying across the country.

In order to save time, sanity, and my own dignity I will condense my 2 ½ hour flight into a few highlights. Upon boarding the very small, bordering on claustrophobic plane to Chicago a man, whom I will call Mr. D, informed me that his seat was beside mine. Within minutes he inquired about my marital status and exactly how long I had been married. He was aghast at how anyone could possibly be married for 23 years as he could not comprehend being with one person that long. He then offered that while he was currently married and had two children, ages 2 and 4, he would be divorcing his wife when his children turned 18. He also informed me that he didn’t like to wear his wedding ring as it was uncomfortable. As an added bonus he let me know that women don’t care if he is married or not as marriage is apparently not a deterrent to “hooking up.” As you can see, Mr. D was a real charmer. While I was appalled by pretty much everything that came out of Mr. D’s mouth I was already beginning to write the blog in my head so I forged ahead.

Mr. D was also very informative about male behavior. He took it upon himself to educate me about “husbands who travel for business.” He wanted me to know that all men who travel cheat on their wives. When I disagreed, he said, “So, you are telling me that you believe your husband has never cheated on you?”

I looked at him and said, “Look at me. I am the best thing that ever happened to my husband. He would be a fool to cheat on me and no, I don’t believe for a second that he has ever strayed.”

Mr. D smiled, but had apparently run out of educational tips on my marriage as he moved on to other topics like the ages of my daughters.

Later, Mr. D told me he would like to stay in Chicago for the night and pretend he wasn’t a husband and father. Something tells me he won’t have to pretend for very long.

As I disembarked from my little plane trip from hell I did not look over to tell Mr. D how much I enjoyed talking to him. I felt pretty sure he knew the answer. I was wrong. Mr. D chased me down in the airport to tell me how much he loved conversing with me during the flight and that he hoped I had fun at the funeral.

Oh, Mr. D you really are a charmer.

Note to Mrs. D: You might want to put a leash on that stray dog of yours and while you are at it you might think about an electric collar for when he misbehaves!

Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Annie says:

    What a creep! Keep an “air sickness” bag handy, in case you are ever sitting next to someone like him again. Wish your journey had been more pleasant.

    Like

  2. gretzmom says:

    he should be taken to the pound and fixed for adoption. and what a testament to a good marriage you gave.

    Liked by 1 person

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