Thankful Thursday: When Nothing Feels Like It’s Going Your Way

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How do you find gratitude and thankfulness when you feel like you’re in the middle of a S$%^ storm? I’m not sure. I woke up late Tuesday, realized my husband was also supposed to be up and he was late. I woke him up and after 10 minutes of groggy conversation and confusion he realized I was right. He was supposed to be awake.

We both rushed out for our early morning commitments.

Then when I returned home, I checked email and handled some “urgent” issues. Then, to be ready for my Dad to put the finishing trim around the new floor, I went out to spray paint the remaining quarter round. I sprayed two pieces without any fanfare and then promptly knocked one of them, still wet, onto the floor into the sawdust.

Awesome Sauce! (Please note my awesomeness is dripping in biting sarcasm and irritation)

I wiped it down quickly and repainted. I think it will be OK, or OK enough.

So then I gathered all these intricately cut corner pieces to put around the bottom of the stair case. Holy angles, batman.

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I picked up the can of spray paint and, of course, it’s now empty.

It’s 8:39 am., I have been up for 3 plus hours, already saw one client and managed to still bungle the day this much so far.

So I am sitting here typing this and thinking how can I find gratitude? I mean, these are first world, petty problems to be sure. I’m not sure I can even call them problems and yet I am agitated and ready to throw in the towel on the day and eat a cookie.

And yet I know this is really when your gratitude practice matters. It’s like character, it really matters when it’s tested.

This is a test of the emergency gratitude system and so far I am a big, fat failure. BEEEEEEEEEP

Do I need to get on the meditation cushion again? Do I need to possibly live on my meditation cushion?

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I have no idea but I am sitting here in my office thinking about the fact that I am not very grateful and that’s making me feel worse.

An opportunity to start again it would seem. So I am going to stop painting, which is easy since I am out of paint, turn off this computer, step away and see if I can regroup.

Guess this blog will have more than one entry. I’ll let you know what happens.

TTFN. 8:44 am Tuesday.

10 a.m. Tuesday

It seems that if you chop the heck out of some veggies and work out your frustration you can regroup, restart and also have a healthy lunch. Thankfulness returns even through the fog of grouchiness 🙂

8:30 p.m. Tuesday

I return home to find my Dad still working hard on the trim of the new floor. Super grateful.

10:30 p.m. Tuesday

Lowi’s daughter, Alex, is due to arrive home in Denver in a couple hours from her mission trip to Haiti. Blessed.

Sunshine & Sarcasm,

Lowi & G

 

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