Torture Report: Holy Hills, Night Running and Lunges

(G) Last year about this time I had the bright idea to run at night. Due to scheduling issues, needing to run, and some other life events, the night running experience came/went again this last week.

Twenty miles, on the treadmill, on a Friday night — clearly I need to take up drugs or something. It’s a pretty sad statement of your social life when you are alone, in your basement at the official start to the weekend.

So with very little mojo and Pop Tarts at the ready I headed to the treadmill. I knew what this run had in store for me so that made it a little tougher to get going. But I climbed on the treadmill and the slug-fest began.


I texted Lowi my sad progress in 5-mile increments and she dutifully responded with a virtual pep talk. I know that’s really like guilting someone into telling you how fabulous you are. But when you’re suffering you’ll take it any way you can get it.

Blissfully the run came to an end just before 11 p.m.


But I still had two obstacles: bending down to unplug the treadmill and climbing the stairs back to the land of the living.
Thank heavens we have a stair rail.


But the week wasn’t all misery. I did also get outside on a beautiful day (that was the non-misery part in case it wasn’t clear) to run hills. It was a real lung-burner.
Every mile I kept thinking, “I don’t think I can do this!”
I kept telling Swaggy through gasps for breath that I had run 10 miles the day before. He was not impressed. And run on he did, with me hobbling along behind.

I think I checked all the boxes this week:

Misery, check;
Torture, check;
Fatigue, check;
Shamelessly telling you about it, check!

(L) Just so we are clear I will never jump on the treadmill on a Friday night to run 20 miles…I can’t think of any circumstance that would cause me to torture myself in this way. In fact, the only reason I would ever run 20 miles on the treadmill is severe weather.  But go G!  What she neglected to tell you was that I told her I was going to send photos of me eating Oreos when she was updating me on her mileage. I am not that great of a cheerleader.

Since I am NOT a mere month away from running the Outrun I am averaging just over 20 miles/week and I am in week 3 of Body for Life.  Last week, I mentioned that the muscle soreness had not disappointed me, however, I didn’t feel like I was really giving it my ALL. And by ALL I mean I could still sit/stand/do stairs without grimacing and begging for someone to carry me everywhere. Yes, I did feel like I had the flu, but that is beside the point. My middle daughter is doing this program as well and let me tell you she was crying with every step she took this past week.  So, I traded the dumbbells for the Olympic bar to do my squats and instead of the very doable hamstring exercises I did the dreaded lunges. Have I mentioned that I HATE LUNGES?  I hate doing them and for approximately 5-7 days I will hate the after effects of the lunges.  I will also be hating life tomorrow when I have to do cardio on these tree trunks I call legs!

If you remember, graduation will be here before we know it and so will shorts season.  I realize some people call it swimsuit season, but who willingly wears a swimsuit unless they are on a deserted island?  So, I will keep working it and maybe by next week I will feel like I am making an impact with this program.

Sunshine & Sarcasm,

Lowi and G

The Torture Report began in January 2014 as a weekly update of our journey to completing a 50-mile race. Since then it’s continued on to become a chronicle of how we try mightily to find fitness, health and sometimes the finish line. We aren’t always successful but we keep showing up and telling you all about it on Tuesdays.

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