Moving brings all kinds of paperwork challenges—the simplest being getting your address changed with every credit card, delivery service, and friend you know. The more difficult are getting new driver’s licenses, registering to vote, and now, it seems, getting insured.

My husband got a new job and is now eligible for insurance through his employer. That is good news, right?!

Think again, Speed Racer. It seems to be on this policy I needed to prove I was, in fact, married to John. This may have been the first time I have had to produce this document in my married life, but I dutifully scanned the certificate- the original, I might add. All nicely signed by me, my husband, our minister, and a witness- complete with our social security numbers and a lovely border that is a requisite part of nearly every certificate I’ve ever had, whether it was for being on the honor roll or getting married.

In 10 minutes, the process was complete… I thought.

It turns out that isn’t enough. Nope, I need a certified copy to prove we are married. Umm, OK. Surely, this is something I can access online.

Try again. A few weekends ago, I ended up on the Delaware County probate court website, where I could apply for a new marriage license, become an ordained minister, or adopt a child. However, there was nary a spot to request a copy of a marriage certificate. 

Then I decided to look up our marriage license. After some searching, I started to wonder if possibly we missed a step nearly 25 years ago. I even asked John, who I assumed was still my lawful husband, if we were supposed to do anything official after we got married for it to be complete?

Naturally, he had no idea. I continued to search and finally I was able to confirm that we, at least, did have a marriage license from 2000 but not any proof that we were married. This was on Saturday, so I would have to wait until Monday. 

Two days later, I called, and a nice lady said they don’t provide that information online, but I could send $2 to get a copy of the marriage certificate. Great, is there a form? No, just send us a letter asking for what you need.

OK??? No form??

Then she adds, let me make sure we actually have your certificate. Uhh, yeah, let’s do that because right now I am not sure we are officially married. Much like throwing a coin in the air to make a heads or tails decision, it’s amazing how many thoughts you can have in milliseconds.

I considered what would I do if she didn’t have a record of our marriage? Would we fly to Vegas and retroactively elope? Would I rethink this whole marriage thing, drop Barton from my name and just continue to live in sin? Of course, that would mean getting a new driver’s license, changing all my credit cards and getting a new social security card.

I mean if you weigh it out, stay married or stand in line at the social security office…

But within a few seconds, it was confirmed. I am married and to the person I assumed I was all along. Phew

I can save time not standing in more lines, but I don’t get a trip to Vegas. I am still iffy about how that worked out for me!