We attempt to be ahead of the curve with the blog. We are writing in advance to be ready each week so as not to be in a mad dash – but as you can imagine, in a world that is changing seemingly by the second, the content we planned to share three weeks ago or even three days ago can feel tone-deaf or inconsiderate when the day rolls around to post it. So, we try to pivot and adjust as best as we can.

I’ll be honest. In tragic times such as these, we lose the energy to get excited about this work because it feels meaningless in the face of such horror. It weighs on our minds; it sickens our stomachs.

I don’t know what to do. Do you? Spend a little time on social media, and you feel less clear. One person’s post tells me that if I am silent, I am on the side of evil. The next says it’s OK. Not everyone needs to add their opinion to the pile. The next says my opinion, whatever it may be, is incompetent, short-sighted, or worse.

I am sick when I think about the world, from the epidemic that is gun violence in this country to Israel/Palestine to the personal issues with which we all deal.

Every goal and ambition I have about my life and career feels petty and somewhat shameful right now. Even going for a run feels so wildly self-centered. Hardly a single conversation I have had this week hasn’t included lament and fear about this global community we all live in.

I don’t know what to do. Do you? What organization(s) do I support? Is aid even reaching the people? You know, the everyday people who are just like me and just like you. The ones who also want to be able to focus on their families, their careers, and their own life’s purpose but instead are simply trying to survive. We all want to survive the circumstances we live in or the trip to the grocery store or the local bowling alley. 

I don’t know what to do. Do you? I talked about being heartbroken by life a few weeks ago, and even now, in quiet moments during the day, I realize I am still heartbroken by past events. But I am heartbroken anew nearly every day by what we do to each other in the name of various causes. We break each other. We break ourselves. When will it ever be enough?

I don’t know what to do. I really don’t. If you are hanging in here because you think I will deliver you an answer, I am not. I am daily trying to deliver myself to one. The only place I have landed so far, and it’s vague, is to do anything you can. Give to someone. Donate to a charity. Give grace. Take deep breaths. Imagine the best in others, especially those you find difficult. Send someone you appreciate a note. Pay for someone’s coffee in line. If you are so inclined, contact your Congresspeople. Action is likely better than inaction. 

I don’t know. Do you?