I have been reading a lot, listening to podcasts and scrolling through social media and there is a lot of GARBAGE out there! There are wars being waged between friends on Facebook and Instagram stories and it feels like everyone just wants to be right.
I am not saying that at the heart of these angry rants and discussions there isn’t real merit or that there aren’t true, honest to goodness feelings about what is happening in our country. I GET IT. We feel like if we just talk loud enough or long enough, the other side will hear and see us. I flip back and forth between all the news networks and try to decipher what is REAL as well and I am here to tell you, that I hear you, I see you and I know that life is hard.
Now, take a deep breath because I am not going to tell you to stop fighting for what you believe, God forbid anyone get in the way of all you Joan of Arcs out there. Clearly, somebody needs to lead the charge in the COVID crisis or non-crisis, depending on how you feel about it, the issue of race in all areas of our lives and the ongoing political predicament we find ourselves in. March on good soldiers. I will be over here ready to feed your stomach and your soul all the home baked goodness you can imagine as well as cheer you on. I know where my gifts lie.
I want you to win. Go team.
It’s just that while I was over here cheering you on, I realized a few things. One, you, and by you I mean the good ‘OL USA, look like a girl limping home with one broken heel after a very long night of dancing. You look uncomfortable, lopsided and like you’ve had enough. Two, you look like you might be in the midst of an emotional breakdown and three, I think if you stop fighting for one hot minute you might realize that you are all fighting for the same thing. Okay, some of you got into the spiked Kool-Aid, but that’s another blog.
Anyway, we have all just spent nearly a year apart from one another. We miss each other. We miss real connection. We miss the feeling of a big bear hug from that one friend who never ceases to disappoint by pulling us into an embrace that lets us know it’s all going to be okay. We miss sharing nachos and tasting each other’s margaritas.We miss being in one another’s homes, but more importantly each other’s lives. We miss being loved for who we are not because of our political affiliation, the color of our skin or how we feel about vaccinations. We miss talking about our significant others or wanting one and not having one. We miss talking about our kids, your kids and the kids we want or don’t want. We miss the stories about the game, vacations and reminiscing about our night on the town.
For months we have been throwing a collective temper tantrum about things that matter, yes, but also because we are D O N E ! We are done being told what we can and cannot do, where we can go, who we can go with and how many masks we might need to wear in order to leave the house (and for the record, I am happy to wear my mask everywhere I go). We feel forgotten, unheard and unseen. I don’t care which side of the fence you lie, we all feel disconnected.
We don’t hate each other. We miss each other. We miss human connection.
“Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives and without it there is suffering.” Brené Brown
“Without it there is suffering…“
We are all suffering. We are all looking for connection anywhere and in anyway we can find it. Maybe it’s time for us all to take a deep breath and connect with someone we care about. Maybe it’s time to connect with someone because we used to enjoy their company and we had a lot in common before we decided that different opinions were something to disrespect rather than learn from. Did you only socialize with Republicans, Democrats, Vaxxers, anti-vaxxers or people with the same ethnicity as you prior to the lockdown, last March? Honestly, I know you had a diverse friend group; I know your friend group consisted of all kinds of people, opinions and beliefs.
Stop focusing on all the things that divide us, because there are honestly too many to count, and start focusing on all the ways in which your family member, neighbor, co-worker and friend matter. We have grown accustomed to hiding behind our masks and our social media handle over the last year. It is so much easier to believe we are different when we are holed up in our house, not seeing anyone. It’s just as easy to believe that your family member, neighbor, co-worker and friend are intelligent, kind-hearted people who didn’t descend from the devil when you talk to them on the phone or interact with them face to face.
This year has taken a huge toll on all of us, but it’s not too late to get your crap together. It’s time to turn off the news and turn on some good music (may I suggest a Sweet Caroline Playlist), invite a friend or two over, sit outside around a fire pit if that feels more comfortable and simply enjoy their company. The rules are simple: No masks (so sit at a distance that feels safe) and no conversations about politics, vaccines, race or money. Share your lives, your stories and reconnect.
Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G