I have had a lot of reminders this week to not only be present, but to be thankful for where I am right now.  My most vivid reminders all came from my girls. They all have a tendency to look too far into the future.  I feel like I am always dragging them back to what is happening right now.  Maybe in all of our raising them up with vision, direction and goals we did them a disservice? Whether it’s a test, application, job or a relationship, they all want to travel too far ahead on the trail.  Actually, they all want to travel right up to the point at which failure might happen. Why must they think about and prepare for failure? They think they can head off the pain; make it hurt less.  Preparing for a course correction does not make it hurt less; It causes us to live in a state of fear and negativity.

It’s a joyless life if you stay there too long.

This week, I thought back on my year.  I went back to January.  It was a tough month. Then I started flipping through my Instagram photos.  Not a lot there until February.  Maybe I didn’t need photos or a recount of my blog to remember what I was grateful for this year. Maybe I just needed to reflect on my day to day. And there it was right in front of me.

Every day I am grateful for my hubby who works tirelessly to provide for our family beyond anything we could ever need.  I am grateful that he loves us all so fiercely that we sometimes have to tap him on the shoulder and let him know he can let go a little. He continues to learn after 24 years that dealing with 4 women is HARD, but so worth it. THANK YOU for who you are and all that you do.

I am SOOO grateful that we have health insurance and that our two daughters with Type 1 Diabetes have everything they could need (besides a healthy pancreas, of course).  I am thankful that we have a home, our girls have homes and that they will all return in less than a week to celebrate Christmas with us under one roof.

I am grateful that this year has provided us many opportunities to be with our girls when they needed us. Sometimes that meant a quick drive to Boulder, sometimes that meant a long drive or flight to Nashville and more often that meant a walk down the hall to our youngest’s bedroom.  No matter the distance, I always feel tremendously grateful to be there for whoever and wherever we are needed.

I am grateful for family, far and near and that this year we get to spend Christmas with my parents. It’s been a very long time.

I am grateful for our rescue pup, Stevie Nicks, who we were not expecting and yet has filled a hole in our hearts that we did not even know was there.  She gives nothing but love…and opportunities to clean up after her, but we are only talking about the good stuff. I am thankful to Samson who begrudgingly allowed her into his space and has grown to mostly love her this year.

I am grateful that all of my girls ran at least one race with me this year.  I love that they all have the guts to go out there and do HARD things even when they aren’t sure what to expect.  Way to be brave.

Speaking of brave I am grateful that my older ones were able to travel out of the country this year. One, to find herself in the face of grateful children who need food, love and a caring heart and the other…to just perhaps find herself.

I am grateful for G and this blog and the ability to say what we want, when we want and how we want without being censored.  Even if we are the only two people who read it, and sometimes we are, we are doing what we love.  Thank you for continuing to live out this dream with me.

I am grateful for friends who continue to travel this road with us.  You know who you are and to you I am  grateful to have you in our lives.  I am especially grateful for those of you who have CRAZY, CHAOTIC lives.  It makes me feel more normal.

I am grateful that each of my girls have amazing people in their lives.  People who care for them and love them and see them for exactly who they are.  I love watching all that good stuff happen and even when the bad sneaks in, knowing they have friends who are willing to walk beside them or sit on the kitchen floor eating brownie batter until it feels just a little better.  It makes my heart spill over.

I could go on. If we all sit down for just a few minutes and truly meditate on that which we are grateful we won’t have the time or the energy to waste on what might not be right.