I would like to say I live at the corner of Order and Chaos, but in reality I live at the corner of Chaos and More Chaos!
So Kim and Kanye, AKA mom and dad, are coming to visit at the end of April and then just a few weeks later they will be back. In fact, all of the family will be here by the end of May for my middle daughter’s graduation. Right about now I am thinking…actually I can’t put into print what I am thinking.
Why have I not DEEP cleaned this house since the last graduation party?!?!? I mean I live in Colorado where if you don’t dust twice a week you have a serious problem on your hands. My white wood blinds? Not so white anymore due to the layer of dust that has accumulated. The wood trim? I seriously do not understand how they get so marked up. It looks like we have toddlers who do nothing but sit around all day kicking the wood trim and the doors in the house. And don’t get me started on our pet pony that lives in the house (okay, Samson is a Golden Retriever, but he is the size of a small pony).
The last time we had a lot of people in our home was 2 years ago when my oldest graduated and I worked hard to get my house organized, cleaned, decluttered and ready. And I still wasn’t ready. In fact, when Kim and Kanye arrived last time I was still cleaning along with my neighbor and friend who I hired to help me. As if that wasn’t enough, we had a concrete patio poured 3 days prior to our party. The day before our party the grandparents were painting, changing light bulbs, vacuuming, moving our hot tub back onto the patio and putting lawn furniture together. I know, right now you are amazed that Kim and Kanye even want to come back to visit.
They will arrive on the 28th of April so I have 15 days to get it together.
I therefore am signing a Sacred Decluttering Contract with myself and you are the witness just in case that isn’t clear.
I hereby swear to eliminate as much clutter as I can and only keep that which is sacred in my house. Yes, this means that we no longer need 2 foot baths, empty shampoo bottles, old makeup, clothes that no longer fit from 1995 just because I might be able to wear them again, the black dress that was $6 even though I have never worn it, old silverware, old dishes, random socks that have lost their mate and the list goes on.
No, I do not have a plan or system in place so please send me your clutter detox program or the meeting time of your Clutterers Anonymous group. I need help people for the love of God it’s only 15 days!
Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G