I woke up on Monday morning dreading the day almost before I had both eyes open. Now that I am really thinking about it, I was actually dreading the whole week. Not a good start.

Part of the problem is that I really need to fire the woman who handles my schedule (yes, that’s me). Frankly, she’s not very good at her job, she’s a yes-woman and she doesn’t have a good understanding of time.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Monday. Dread.

I got out of bed and by the time both feet were on the floor it was on. The lamenting, complaining, kvetching, whatever word you want to use, it was happening.

I got a glass for water.

(Still ranting)

Rolled out my yoga mat

(Still carrying on internal yammering)

Completed my morning sun salutations and I was just going through the motions. I was all in my head.

Then my butt hit the meditation cushion and it got even louder in my head. Finally, I opened my eyes and said, “Enough!” Yes out loud, only speaking to myself. I tend to do that.

I picked up my journal and wrote down “Stop dreading days before they begin. That seems like a pretty good mantra, doesn’t it?”

These are not miraculous or original words or phrases but it did stop me to see it written down, on paper, in my own nearly illegible handwriting. I took a deep breath and began my meditation again, slightly more focused.

It’s been a rough week for me. I’ve overworked, over-committed, under-slept and sacrificed much of the things I most value. I even bailed on running yesterday because I just couldn’t commit to one more thing. That’s big for me.

All week long this thought of not dreading the day before it begins has been rolling around in my head. Every morning when I got up and blew out a big exhale upon thinking about the day, I reminded myself to “stop the dread.” It really does just make everything worse.

Now as the end of the week nears and I’ve finally committed to giving myself some space to just “be” I realize something else:

I need to stop creating days I am going to dread because I’m over-committed, overworking, not sleeping enough and giving up my non-negotiables in order to get it done. I know that when I was saying “yes” to these things inside I was likely yelling “no.”

While I tried hard this week and gave it my best, I was not at my best for all the reasons I mentioned above.

Maybe it’s less about “stop dreading” and more about “stop creating it.”

Sunshine & Sarcasm,

Lowi & G