(G) This morning begins Day #5 of being off the crack. The last few days have been tough but not so bad we can’t find the humor.

I heard the other day from Dr. Joel Fuhrman, plant-based diet guru, that it takes 3 days to detox off sugar. It seems then there is, possibly, one thing in this world at which I am an overachiever. It’s 4 days plus and I could still, at any given moment, snap, eat a cupcake or just straight up stick my face in a sugar canister. I am past feeling any shame about my addiction. It’s legit and it’s hard core.

Last night, while attempting to complete my Day 16 Yoga “task” for Savor Life, I found myself in NeedADamnCookie-asana.

My Downward-Facing Dog was drooling at the thought of something sweet and well you know what that does to a yoga mat.

I am not sure that’s an official pose but as a yoga teacher I feel that it’s OK, when in an emergency, to take creative license.

I am headed into the weekend and free time is never my friend when it comes to things like this. There is the possibility of my house being the cleanest it’s been a while in an effort to stay sugar sober. Anyone who says that sugar isn’t an addiction, clearly hasn’t witnessed the withdrawal symptoms of Lowi & G. And they also better stand a few feet back from me while they say it because those are fighting words and I am a little agitated and without my favorite vice.

(L)  Today is my 11th day off sugar and while I am pretty proud of myself, it’s been a tough week.  In fact, I sent G a text on Tuesday night asking if wine was sugar.  I gave her about 5 seconds to answer and I then sent a follow up text that read, “In case you are thinking of NOT responding…this is an EMERGENCY!”  I gave her about 30 seconds, still nothing.

I called her and still no answer. I was starting to panic because when you’re on the wagon and your sponsor isn’t there when you need them, things could get ugly fast.  I left her a message about it being an emergency and that she needed to call me back ASAP.  Let me just say when she did call she had a very lame excuse for not answering me during the 90-second time span that I was in desperate need of her.

Her excuse was something like Johnny Armani was reading her a book about watching Jane run… or was it Dick?  Anyway, I asked them if wine had sugar and before they could answer I quickly explained that I was, indeed, ready to chew my arm off so they should think about their answer very carefully. They said it was safe to drink.

I was pretty sure they were lying and by the time I got off the phone with my sponsor I decided it wasn’t worth it.

Sunshine, Sarcasm & Sugar-Free,

Lowi & G