When you decide to start writing a blog and posting it for the whole world to see you really find yourself pondering “who am I?”
And then it gets morphed into “Which part of me am I going to show the world?” and then that can become “who do I want the world to think I am?” And that’s where we get into trouble.

I know a little about this. Recently my sister and I launched this site. We are all about living better but I have a healthy, possibly overdeveloped, sarcastic side. And at times, I see that gets in the way of living more authentically and joyfully.

When I think about writing a blog for our Lowi & G site it can start to feel complicated: who am I, who do I want the world to think I am, how can I be me and reflect positively on my sister as well? And as you can imagine, I have begun to circle the drain.

Then I went back to our About Us section and our blog mission and reminded myself why we started this blog:

#1 We have something to say
#2 Sometimes to be real you have to be raw

I may swing back and forth on the continuum before I figure it out or maybe it’s an ongoing process of figuring it out and then figuring it out again. If we are always growing and evolving that center for each of us is likely to change.

But if I swing too far in one direction, don’t give up on us. If for no other reason, Lowi will likely be posting the next blog.

All this questioning turned out to be a jumping off point, not off the cliff, but a beginning to a conversation that we all need to have. Even if it’s just with ourselves.
We all are trying to figure it out, I think.

Who am I?

And if I am not so thrilled with the answer: Who do I want to be?
And how is that different than who I am with my spouse, friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances?

There have been times in my life, and even right now, where there are some people in my life from whom I hide my true self. I don’t quite let them see who I am. Instead, I try to be who they want me to be. In those moments I am a poser and feel like a liar. That line gets too blurry at times between when I am pretending and when I am not. And pretty soon, pretending starts to feel easier.

Being vulnerable enough to be seen, even in the most basic sense, can be tough.

While we may not let our freak flag fly quite so openly with someone we just met that doesn’t mean we can’t still be ourselves. As Brene Brown says, only some people have earned the right to hear our stories. But at the same time, we can be the essence of ourselves with everyone. We need to be.

One of my intentions in 2014, since I am turning 40 and all, is to stop trying to origami myself into a pleasing package all the time and instead be me. And while I hope that package is good enough, pleasing enough and charming enough, I am OK that some will opt to buy another parcel.

What about you?

 

Peace out,

G