Everyone who knows me, knows how obsessed I have been with my deer. I say, my deer because they reside on my property a lot,  therefore I consider them to be part of the family.

Herman has apparently found popularity, like a middle school boy,  as he has been off gallivanting with the other bucks. I guess, friends won out over a mother’s love, what can I say, I knew I should have fed him…?

It’s okay because mama and her two babies have been living here since she gave birth and I have loved watching these little fawns grow and their spots fade. I never tire of seeing them. Sure, they have been nibbling on my plants, but it’s fall. They are about to be cut back anyway. That’s what I keep telling Andy when he whines about it. More on him later.

So, this weekend mama and just one baby were here and I was worried about that second fawn. She always had one that just wouldn’t stay close and she was always waiting for him to catch up. He always seemed so curious and I tried not to think about it too much. Maybe it was another mama and I just didn’t realize my good fortune of having two mamas feeling safe enough to hang out in my backyard.

Anyway, on Sunday here comes mama with both of her babies again. I was relieved momentarily until I realized the young male clearly had a broken leg. It was Sunday evening and I immediately asked Andy what we could do and who we could call. I could see the word HUNTER forming on his lips, but instead he gently said, it’s the circle of life, honey.

This isn’t what I wanted to hear. I walked out of the room frustrated and sad because these deer are like family. I couldn’t bear the idea that one of them wouldn’t make it even though I know this is how it works in the wild. I protectively watched them for 20 minutes and the deer was getting around pretty well given his circumstances, but how long could he last? While I contemplated opening up the courtyard for a safer place for them. Mama and her babies meandered up the hillside. It was out of my hands whether I liked it or not. 

The question of how long they could last came pretty quickly as a pack of coyotes were in our yard within 15 minutes of their departure. I was instantly terrified and ran from window to window. The coyotes were clearly tracking them. 

I wanted to distract them but I was afraid they would run faster or find the 4 deer in my backyard, so I watched them go after mama and her babies. Not long after we heard a terrible wailing and the coyotes screaming.

I cried. Again, Andy hugged me and said he was sorry but this is how it works.

A little bit later I found Andy in the bathroom trying to dig out a piece of wood that was stuck in his leg. He had been using the chainsaw to cut some dead branches down and had somehow gotten a tiny chip of wood lodged in his skin.  It looked painful and inflamed already.  I asked if I could help him and I opened the door, threw him outside and yelled, “circle of life, I hope you make it.”

Just kidding.  

I begrudgingly let him stay inside and I’m not sure, but I think his chances of survival might be about the same inside as they would be outside. 

I haven’t seen the deer since last weekend.  There have been a few out in the field, but nothing too close.  There has been no sign of mama or any babies.  I haven’t even seen them when I walk the dogs, which is unusual.  Perhaps the coyotes have taken up residence on the hill, keeping the deer at bay.

Sadly, I did find blood on our driveway so that is also not a good sign, but I can’t think too much about it or I will start crying again.

I know that living amongst wildlife is a privilege and while there is so much beauty, the harsh reality is that not all of my deer will survive. I won’t stop loving their presence and I look forward to Herman, the other bucks and maybe even mama and babies returning soon. 

A girl can hope, right?