If you’ve been with us since the early days, you know that writing about my kids is something I used to do a lot. Partly because my kids were still living at home when we began this adventure and partly because they were at the forefront of everything we did. They are still at the forefront of our lives, but in a different way. Two of them are married and live in different states, and one is ready to set out on her own adventure after just graduating from college.
The point is, our lives are not as entwined as they used to be and their stories are exactly that; their stories.
The truth is, we have been transitioning to this empty nest stage for 11 years, and I’m not going to lie; I thought it would be a lot easier by now. Can we take some things in stride and let some things roll off our backs? Of course. Does it get easier to say goodbye? No.
What I have learned in these 11 years is to appreciate all the moments we do have together. We have learned that even if we are helping them move, it doesn’t mean we can’t make the most of it while we pack/unpack boxes. In the last 9 months, I have helped all 3 of my girls move, and each time we had a ton of fun mixed with a lot of hard work. We bought tickets to see Ed Sheeran with 4 hours’ notice in Nashville, explored Asheville and some amazing cuisine with Alex and Drew, and while Reese only moved to a different building within her complex, we ate pizza, hung out with friends, and laughed until we cried. If I had not made the time to help them with each move, I would have missed out on some great memories. So often, we wait until there is an event to make the trip, and while that is understandable, it’s often the in-between times that mean the most.
That said, our kids’ transition to adulthood, having spouses and significant others, is fun. We have learned to embrace it and meet everyone where they are rather than focusing on what used to be or what we wish could be.
Last month, all eight of us headed to the UK for a big family adventure (we added one to our group). It had been five years since we had all taken a trip together, and we couldn’t wait to explore new places, try new foods, and spend countless hours in one another’s company. We did all of these things and more, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. The UK trip is a blog all of its own.
If vacations, graduations, and big life events were our only moments with these kids, I would be grateful for the time, but I know that so much life is happening in the days, weeks, and months between our visits. Of course, big trips and holidays get all the attention, but hearing about their days, their struggles, their wins, and their everyday lives matters so much. So, the next time you think maybe you will skip the move or the random weekend and wait for a better opportunity, I’m telling you, you’re missing out. Take the time, go see them on the lazy weekend or help with the move, and do the work nobody else wants to do, the reward is so worth it.
Lowi & G 