While we are moving forward and want to talk about the lighter side of life, we can’t without acknowledging the horror that is unfolding in our world. Grief and sadness don’t begin to cover that innocent people are suffering and dying.  

There is pain, suffering, grief, sadness, and unbearable loss for Israelis and Palestinians. We lack love, peace, forgiveness, and the ability to acknowledge the suffering first.

Before you do or say anything, take a deep breath and bend yourself toward love and compassion.

While there is no good segue into any other topic after acknowledging this horrific loss, I will say that when we face any kind of tragedy, we tend to gather our loved ones near, and that is what we want to do as we move forward. We also want to remind you and ourselves that life is all of the things: incredible, devastating, exhilarating, exhausting, boring, and we only get one go at it, so take note and go live it.

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful, it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing. Hold on through the awful. And relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living a heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” L.R. Knost

In the last couple of weeks, G has told you where we have been and how it’s changed our perspective on life.  Now, it’s my turn to talk about where we are going from here.  Let’s be honest, we don’t really know exactly where we are going, but we do know the general direction: Forward.

And as we put one foot in front of the other, you’ll find us with friends and family.

You’ll find us always choosing joy but realizing that just on the other side is something hard, something we wouldn’t choose.

You’ll find us laughing and crying, maybe in the same 5-minute span.

You’ll find us living in a way that says, “We see you over there, mortality.  We acknowledge your presence, but we are going to keep moving.”

We are going to run, workout, be healthy, but also eat the cookies, drink the wine, dance on the deck, say what needs to be said, and love, laugh, cry, and be grateful for all of it.

So, what does all of this look like in real life? It looks like planning a football tailgate with friends, even when it’s not the best time to plan an event.

A few weeks ago, we hosted an epic tailgate with family and friends.  It was a year in the making, as we had been waiting for CU Boulder to play Colorado State (CSU) again after a 4-year hiatus.  It’s something we have done many times in the past for our oldest daughter and with friends when their daughter was attending CU.  Our youngest is a senior at CSU, and due to COVID and other logistics, we had not hosted a proper tailgate during her entire college experience.  Time was of the essence, and this game was the perfect occasion to make it happen. Planning and hosting a tailgate represents all of the things I love: hospitality, the gathering of family and friends, food, laughter, and a great football game.  So, I not only said yes to this golden opportunity, I jumped in with both feet!

Months in advance, we knew the date and invited our daughter and her husband (CU and CSU alumni) to fly home for the weekend.  We invited their college friends, our friends, and anyone else we knew who might enjoy a good tailgate, and then we waited for tickets to go on sale so we could see it all come to life.

When we set out to co-host this big event with our friends, we had no idea that CU would bring in Deion Sanders, aka Coach Prime, as the head coach.  We had no idea that tickets would be outrageously priced, that you would only be able to purchase a max number of 6 tickets when they went on sale, that parking would not be sold in advance, and that it would be an 8 p.m. televised game.  We had no clue that purchasing tickets would take a village and that it would feel like you were in the queue for Taylor Swift tickets rather than a football game.  Not to mention that purchasing 6 tickets put a squeeze on the wallet. Friends and family began to wonder if this would all be worth it, but we pressed on.

We also had no idea when we planned this event that our home would be on the market and that we would have to find a dog sitter who could watch our dogs someplace other than our home. We had no idea we would be moving 10 days after the big game. We had no idea that our oldest daughter would be offered a new position across the country that same week and would have to fly out mere hours after the game to meet her new employer. 

We also had zero clue that Coach Prime would bring Hollywood to Boulder that weekend, along with the fanfare of the College GameDay Broadcast.  Boulder was shaping up to be mayhem.

We really wanted to host this tailgate, but planning a tailgate for 25 people in the best of circumstances can be difficult; this was downright messy. Three days prior to the game, we still didn’t know where we were going to host this tailgate.  My anxiety was ticking up. All of the usual spots were now reserved for donors or on a first come, first serve basis.  The logistics of getting at least 5 cars parked in the same location during what we could only imagine as chaotic at best seemed like an impossible task.  I started to feel like it wasn’t worth it.  All of this work felt pointless if we couldn’t all be together, and more than once, we brainstormed alternatives to the tailgate. We scrambled and searched, and finally, the guys found some off-campus parking that we could reserve for $50/each.  It wasn’t an ideal spot, but it was a sure thing, and at this point, a sure thing felt pretty right.

On game day, we packed the car and set out for our Airbnb.  Parking didn’t open until 4:00 at our reserved location and the first come, first serve area opened at 2 p.m.  At 2:00, we received a call from one of our friends who decided to get to campus early and check out the parking situation. She informed us that parking spots were open and that we should head that way NOW.  It was like she had just told us there was one helicopter left for evacuation, and if we weren’t on it, we would be left to suffer the consequences.  We all piled in the cars and drove to campus.  I kid you not; every parking lot was full except the very last one.  All four cars pulled in, parked close together, and we set a tent up for the 5th car and prepaid for their spot until they arrived.  I felt like I could breathe for the first time in days.  We had done it.  We had paid stupid amounts of money for parking spots, used and unused, but we had arrived at our destination, and we could reunite, reminisce, and enjoy the gathering of all of our people under one tent.

It was a beautiful day with friends, family, good food, lots of laughter, and even a few tears.

One more thing we didn’t expect?  The absolutely epic matchup between CU and CSU with a double overtime win for CU and getting back to our cars at 1:00 am.  Totally worth it.

Say yes. 

Gather your people close.  Don’t wait for the next tragedy, life-altering event, illness, or wake-up call to do all the things we say we want to do. Do life together and keep living because even though life is messy, it’s worth every minute.