Carelessness vs. Kleptomania

Let’s clear the air about all of this carelessness versus kleptomania nonsense.  In my defense, I have just been trying to have a little fun at G’s expense over the years.  She clearly would like you to believe she is the victim in all of this. While it’s true, she left her clothes and I kept them, she said they were old clothes and she didn’t care about them…Oh how things have changed over the years.  If all of my antics make me a kleptomaniac then so be it.

Before you make up your mind though, you should hear about her latest trip to Colorado to visit.  While here she stumbled upon some of her belongings.  I know you are thinking I stole something right out from under her nose or maybe she found her beloved sweatpants in the laundry and reclaimed them as her own.  No, it’s way better than I could have even dreamed up.  She opened the bathroom closet to retrieve a towel and as she was perusing Reese’s stash of beauty products she found a hairbrush that she apparently left many  moons ago.
The beauty of this moment is that she left it, she found it and we were clueless as to whose hairbrush it was  Nobody has been using it.  It has just been sitting in a box amongst hair products.
G came out of the bathroom with a look of revelation mixed with despair.  She looked at me and aid, “You’re going to love this.  I think you may be right.  Maybe I am careless with my belongings.”


I’m not going to lie.  She has me at, “I think you’re RIGHT!”  Of course, I’m right.  I am the older, wiser sister.  I’ve only been trying to help her see this her entire life.


The fact that she found her OWN hairbrush that SHE left at my house without my realizing it is just the icing on the cake  Now there is the interesting point that Reese didn’t mention owning a new hairbrush.  Perhaps she believes, too, that if it’s left in your very own bathroom it’s a finders keepers kind of situation.  Now, she is willing to let G have her brush back, but I think it’s because she has several and she has no use for it.  Plus, I think she feels a little sorry for G and her inability to hold onto things that are seemingly so important to her.


I, on the other hand, still have her old, ratty sweatpants.  Speaking of sweatpants and my supposed kleptomania, though, let me tell you about my trip to Ohio.  Most of you heard/saw that I did take her hat after she LEFT it laying at our mom and dad’s house.  I gave it back to her because even though she was careless, it wasn’t my house.  Mom had every right to keep it my opinion, but I guess she wasn’t into it.  The important story, though, is that one night I had to stay at the hospital with our mom.  G, kindly offered to bring me some clothes to change into overnight.  She brought me some great sweatpants that ironically happened to be the ones I bought her after I kept her old ones and a sweatshirt.  I’m not going to lie.  The idea that I could hold two pairs of her sweatpants hostage was tempting, but again, she gave these to me to BORROW.  She didn’t leave them on the floor for the taking.  So, what did I do?  I washed them and gave them back to her the next day.
I am guessing you haven’t heard any of this because it doesn’t support her role as the helpless little sister.  It’s way better to perpetuate the lie that I am a kleptomaniac.


G, has gone back to Ohio now.  I sure hope she took a look behind her on the way out to see if she left anything in her wake.  At one point, she couldn’t find her headphones.  She said she was listening to, “Careless Whisper” when she put them down and she couldn’t remember where.  Sounds about right.


Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G

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