When you find yourself in one of those mud puddles of life things can get weird. You may discover that, not unlike Meredith Grey, you too, can be “dark and twisty.” It’s OK don’t feel bad, there are plenty of DTPs of the world. You know, Dark and Twisty People.
I have come across a nugget of truth, when you are down there splashing around, trying not to drown in your mud puddle you will encounter two distinct kinds of people: Encouragers and Worst-Case-Scenario-ers.
I realize those aren’t actual terms but go with it for the moment.
Worst-Case Scenario-ers are those who want to tell you every bad, terrible, possible outcome that you can have with your situation and everyone they know who has had it worse, just as bad, or how you may, in fact, be the worst. They are the ones who, intentionally or not, pour kerosene on your already raging life Dumpster fire.
Then there are the Encouragers. Those who show up just in time with an extinguisher or a bottle of vodka and say, hey girl, it’s going to work out. It’s going to be OK. I know, I have been down here in the puddle before and I know how to dry myself off and I can help. These are the miracle workers. These are the Annie Sullivans down by the water well kind of people. These are the ones you want in your corner.
Ask yourself how you show up? I am sure I have shown up as both of these and as the Worst-Case partygoer more times that I would like to think. And I am not sure why. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t thinking or we’re drawn to the negative more than the positive. Maybe it’s just my default position.
Not anymore. I am going to do my best to be an Encourager and if I don’t think I can, I am going to be quiet because our words have power and they can strike people as mightily as a punch and we need to consider them as such.
Yesterday, I had an encounter with an Encourager of the greatest kind. She had nothing but good things to share and offered me a nice bowl full of hope. And I am here to tell you that it felt amazing. It felt like someone just dragged me out of that wet, cold mud puddle and tossed me in front of the warm sun to dry out.
Who wouldn’t want to walk around acting like human sunshine? When in doubt, be encouraging. It’s cheap. In fact, it’s free and it does so much good.
Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G