A few weeks ago, Lowi and I were both on our own collective journeys to alternate locations in the US. Both transported, in a way, to a preview of what our lives could be like in the near future.

Lowi seeing her middle daughter, Sydney, visit a college that would take her far from home. And I was attending a conference that hosted speakers who inspired and challenged me to figure out if I could be more of myself in this life.

I’ve often been stumbling into the idea of Living Big this year. I have willingly taken on challenges that pushed me out of my comfort zone. And at times, I have been unceremoniously thrust into them.

I didn’t handle the pressure well all the time but, in fleeting moments of clarity, I tried to hang onto the idea that I want to Live Big not small.

To be clear, living big, isn’t about having fame, public accolades or recognition. It’s, instead, about showing up in my life for the people that matter, myself included. It’s about not shying away from the things that scare the hell out of me. But, instead, doing them anyway and finding out just exactly how tough, courageous, or adaptable I can be.

It’s about trying to not let any moment go un-lived if I can help it. Now, yes of course, I still have to go to work, do the laundry and clean the shower and other tasks. I am not suggesting that every moment is unencumbered and fantastical.

But we all know when we are honest with ourselves that there are ways in our life where we shrink and make ourselves small so we don’t have to push our boundaries or put ourselves out on a limb.

So at the Coaching in Leadership and Healthcare Conference, I had the pleasure of hearing Yael Farber speak. She is a South-African actress/director/playwright and she is nothing short of magnetic. She spoke of how her work, tackling multiple social ills through different individuals’ personal struggles and horrors, is her MANDATE. Her mandate?!

I am a wordie. Like some folks are foodies, I am a wordie. I love words and what they can create and evoke and her use of the word “mandate” got my attention.

It’s a strong, powerful, unrelenting idea. And while she had much more to say that was equally thoughtful and enlightening this idea of “what is MY mandate?” has stuck with me.

I have rolled it around in my conscious mind, unconscious mind, my journal and even in conversations with others. It’s almost like this idea is haunting me but in a positive way.

A few nights ago, I was sharing this with my mom and telling her how listening to Farber left me wondering about my mandate but also making me feel like I was frittering my life away. What was I doing, was I contributing?

My mom then tells me that she has long wanted to volunteer her time to rock babies at the local Children’s Hospital. It’s her way to give back for all the care her nephew/our cousin received when he was born nearly 2 decades ago.

Rock babies — that’s what she’s called to do.

She said she would look into it the next day. But something came over me and I said, no, let’s look it up right now. We are going to go rock babies or whatever else needs to be done. We’ve started the volunteer registration process and by January 2015 we will be on the road.

That got me thinking about my recent foray into volunteering to be a running buddy for Girls on the Run. It’s a way to teach girls about self-esteem, confidence and fun while learning to run. It’s been a real joy and the girls are great.

I am still not sure exactly what my mandate is.

In the meantime, I am going to be a Girl on the Run and rock babies that need to be. Maybe that’s enough…

Just enough,

G