I am not exactly sure when it happened, but my husband has decided that he has done enough. When I say he has done enough, I mean he wrongly assumes that after 21 years that he has met his quota for compliments, anniversary gifts, Valentine flowers and birthday gifts.
I noticed something was amiss at Christmas. He called me to ask when I would be home because he wanted me to go see some pottery. What? Who has abducted my husband and replaced him with Clinton Kelly?
Pottery?

So, I arrived home and he whisked me into town to see some fabulous pottery that he thought would be a great addition to our mountain home. I agreed. We picked some out and he began talking about a spreadsheet and time-frame. What?

My husband had returned.

“So, I was thinking I could buy you a couple of pieces for Christmas and there is a lot here so it’s going to take awhile to collect.”

I said, “yes, it’s a little pricey and there is a lot here.”

“Well, I looked into the person who makes it and she isn’t going to retire anytime soon, so I have time.”

Translation for those of you having difficulty following along: I have every gift-giving holiday mapped out for the next 5 years. I don’t have to give it any thought whatsoever! Isn’t it great?

Hmmm. Yes? I do like the pottery and it’s not like I really need anything. It’s just nice to know that your husband is thinking about you. It’s a great idea. We picked out a few pieces and voila they were under the tree Christmas morning.

Let’s fast-forward a few weeks to our anniversary. Right now, you are thinking you know where this is going. Nope!

Nothing. That’s right folks, not even a card. What? Where is the pottery? Where is the love? I don’t want to translate incorrectly here, so let me just give you a direct quote form my lovely husband of 21 years:
“Well, last year was a big year. It was 20 years and we went to a hotel and stuff and I did buy you a bracelet. Oh and I just bought you pottery for Christmas.”

“We did have a beautiful 20-year celebration, last year, so you really didn’t get me a card?”

There was some stuttering, but ultimately there was no card or pottery. Really, its okay, I didn’t need or want anything. It’s just nice knowing your husband of 21 years thought of you long enough to NOT purchase a card.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not about all of the gifts. It’s about what has happened in the last year. Is there an unwritten guy code that says,

“Hey bro, if you make it to 20 years, you are golden. No need to go to too much trouble anymore, she isn’t leaving you, you got this!”

Seriously? I want to know.

Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi