I am currently reading Brené Brown’s book, “Rising Strong.” There isn’t anything I don’t love about this book, but one subject has jumped out at me this week. She devotes a whole chapter to whether people, in general, think that others are doing the best they can. She bases her initial hypothesis on a bad roommate situation and then proceeds to poll everyone she can from the bank teller to her co-workers about whether they think people are usually just doing the best they can.
She gives appalling anecdotes of people who seemingly are not at their best. Of course, we aren’t always at our best and we can’t always be in a place of striving for our best, but this isn’t what she is talking about. She is curious whether the person in the grocery line yelling at their kid, the neighbor who seems to drink too much, and the mom in the pick-up line at school who is honking her horn are all doing the best they can at that particular moment.

Now, we have all been in situations where we have witnessed poor behavior and, if we are honest, most of us have demonstrated poor behavior in public. It’s not pretty, but if we go back to that moment and ask ourselves what was happening, what we were feeling, maybe the answer would give us some insight.  Perhaps, I had been up all night with puking kids, my husband was out of town, and I just needed to get laundry detergent to wash the bed clothes. Maybe I really was doing the best I could in that very moment and screaming at my kid was a better alternative than dragging them out by their ears! Or maybe the screaming match I had with my husband wasn’t really about the bills.

The point is this: before we judge someone else for their outward actions, behavior or demeanor maybe we should stop and think. Maybe they are having an exceptionally difficult time and what we may view as unacceptable behavior may, in fact, be the very best they can do right now.

Let’s all pause this week and give a little grace to ourselves and those around us because I do believe we are all doing the best we can.

Sunshine & Sarcasm,

Lowi & G