We are on the somewhat sideways slide into the end of the year. I say sideways because this is often when we get way off our routines. This time of year is where many of us throw it in until January. But, friends, routines and schedules are so 2019. Am I right?! Have any of us had a legitimate life routine that seemed normal for the last 20 months?
I have, in many ways, spent nearly this entire year trying to recapture the life I had in early 2020. I am not sure I understood that until recently. Every time I tweaked my training or tried to weed out a bad habit, what I was envisioning, I now realize was who I was, and my life just before the pandemic began.
I am not suggesting that all is lost, but I am coming to the reality that I can’t go back, and likely neither can you. In March 2020, I was coming off the high of completing a 47-hour race where I accomplished some big goals and overcame personal mental barriers. It was going to be my year. I had a lot to prove to myself and other people, even though they likely had no idea.
Probably much like you, as March wore on and we reached into April, I started to lose my focus, and little by slowly, the infrastructure for my life began to deteriorate. What may come as a surprise to you is that I only put all this together in the last week. It is all beginning to make sense why I have struggled to thrive in the ways I’d like.
For me, the Earth has shifted. The ground beneath me is not the same as it once was, and I need to adjust. I have been subconsciously waiting for my old life to return. It’s not. I know this seems like a heavy statement to make, but it’s actually a relief, and now I can move. I can stop standing in the same place to be sure the life I lost can find me.
I need to build a different infrastructure based on new constants like change, my inner compass, and more risks. As I mentioned in our blog earlier this week, we have to be willing to push the parameters to live this life fully.
We have to lean toward the discomfort because that’s where the growth lives. We have to lean toward the uncertain because that’s also where serendipity hangs out. We have to snuggle up to doubt because confidence tends to dwell nearby. By engineering our life never to feel fear or failure, we will also never feel joy or accomplishment.
While this sounds like a lofty preamble, the steps I am taking in that direction are small. You may even call them baby steps. The one thing I have been doing since November 1 is running 1 mile every day at the end of the day. It’s hard. I don’t want to do it most days. I can think of 10 million reasons that I should skip it most days. Some of them are even pretty good excuses. (Feel free to email me if you’d like the list.) I haven’t given in (yet) because I want 2022 to feel better than 2021. I want to arrive in March 2022 and feel that it will be my year. I want to feel hopeful. I want to be in action toward my goals regardless of the world, or the pandemic, because many of my goals are independent of lockdowns, quarantines, or social distancing. My guess is many of yours are too.
Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G