I am about to wade into waters that I am only partially knowledgeable. It has come to the attention of my rather scattered brain that The Bachelor television show has a scandal of sorts. Now as we know, every reality show wants/needs a scandal, well, weekly to keep you tuning in so I am not so sure how serious anyone is taking it. It is after all, The Bachelor.
But this latest kerfuffle got my ear when I heard the bachelor is 36 and one of his prospective love interests is 22. It felt familiar.
I was 23 when I met my 36-year-old future husband.
First, let’s state from the start that I have never seen the Bachelor other than the previews. This is not because I have high-quality TV viewing habits as I have watched the Kardashians on more than one occasion and catch up on Carpool Karaoke via YouTube on a regular basis.
Most everyone who’s not a sociopath loves my husband, now, but it was a rough start for some back in the summer of 1997. Not because they disliked him but the age difference — made them pause. There were some uncomfortable conversations with friends and some bandying about that my boyfriend was closer to my parents’ age than mine. All true.
It really came down to how I answered this question: Did I want to be happy or make everyone else comfortable? When in doubt choose happy. Seventeen years later, I wouldn’t choose differently. To further solidify this, I’ve had some personal struggles the last several months and my “older” husband has been there. He’s never wavered.
I’ve seen the research about large age gaps in marriages and May-December romances. But so far it’s turned out not to apply to us. Maybe it’s that John is eternally 12 years old, wanting to golf, run, and go to concerts. Maybe it’s because I am a wayward spirit that needs some grounding. Who knows?
Lots of things make and break relationships. I’m not sure being from different generations is the straw to a camel’s back. It does however make playing “remember when” games a little more interesting because he remembers all of it. Me, well, not as much.
Sunshine & Sarcasm,
Lowi & G